Okay, I’m not a feminist contrary to what some people think based on the fact that I talk about women, family etc related issues. . . and on the other hand, I don’t have to be one to be rooted in purpose of who I am and to basically know what to take and what not to take as a woman. The truth is I don’t need feminism to know my self-worth.
And yes, this is officially a serious rant cos earlier today something happened to me. I was driving my Dad’s car when a man hits me and then I stood still for a while hoping he was gonna get down or so but he didn’t move. So, I stepped down and walked to the driver’s side of his car and still he didn’t move and then I opened the car door, he wouldn’t say a word; then I was pissed and I demand an apology coupled with the fact that I told him to take responsibility for the bash and then he told me “Bloody Feminist!”. . . Like are you kidding me? What sane man ever utters that kind of statement based on the fact that I demanded respect and apology for his misconduct.
Now, that statement wasn’t only insulting not because he called me a feminist but because he called me a feminist because I demanded respect, so yes, it was insulting at that point. . . It was myopic and shallow cos I don’t have to be a feminist to demand respect from a man who thinks he’s above me because God luckily gave him the penis.
It made me realize that there are so many men walking the streets of Nigeria with a distorted orientation and realization of what feminism is! You want to call me a feminist because I asked you to man up to your faults, by all means rant ahead; so I decided to show him the bloody in the feminist. . . just get the damn car fixed and deal with your myopic syndrome before it gets out of hand.
Yes, I am someone who dealt with self-esteem for a very long time and when I started coming out of it, it wasn’t feminism that told me I was wonderfully and beautifully made, it wasn’t feminism that told me I can walk out of a relationship that’s making my feet uncomfortable and that feeling stuck is just in my brain.
Truthfully, feminism does as much as that. I know a lot of people who live as feminists without identifying with the word and that’s okay as far as I’m concerned . . . Feminism is something you do, not something you say you are.
Come to think of it, why do we need a constitution if we all understood the concept of respecting authority from the Bible? Why do we need a law that says don’t steal lest you get a jail term or so if we already understood it from the Bible. Why did God have to give the children of Israelites the commandments if the readings from the book of the law was enough for them? Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying feminism is a law. See you are allowed to be creative as much as you are allowed to be spiritual; none disturbs the other. You just need to find the equilibrium and yes, the Bible is basic but please don’t tell me I’m less spiritual because I endorse feminism cos I actually do.
Right, some people think feminism is devilish. Some think its teaching rebellion and some actually think Chimamanda has to be crucified for what? A movement that has been in existence before her but only became a good kind of epidemic all thanks to her? . . . Trying to explain what feminism is and is not is an argument I’d never wanna have cos in fact, feminism as a movement means several things to several people and you know it’s crazy how the term has become a subject of discussion and confusion!
What I’ve come to realize about feminism is the fact that most of the things it agitates for as far as feminism is concerned to me, are things you are not supposed to do to a woman or treat a woman as if you are really a believer who perfectly understands the word of God and love.
Feminism is a good cause; women empowerment; uplifting the life, situations and opportunities of women; and as good as it is, many are twisting it around to satisfy selfish objectives; using it as a medium to defy their husbands, hate men, break their home apart and make a mess of theie marriage which is why feminism has become an irritating movement in the ears of many.
Knowledge is beautiful only when properly utilized. You know the beautiful thing about the idea of grace and Christianity is that the word should and always be the standard; having doctrines, personal ideas and beliefs pinned on someone is not something one has to be okay with. Many people think feminism is ungodly well I think different. It’s just like not knowing the pre-existing traditional proverbs and getting to hear them in movies and then you give kudos to movies for teaching you what has been in existence but you didn’t know because you didn’t search, you didn’t study, you didn’t ask.
I’m not gonna try to pin my idea or belief on anyone, I’m gonna allow you to dwell and meditate on what it is and it is not to each and everyone but it hurts that some women actually see feminism as the out they have out of an ugly situation like all thanks to feminism, how would I have known that I had a voice, how would I have known that I could set my own boundaries, that I could say No and not always say Yes. . . Of course, you can set boundaries; of course you have a voice! The Bible encouraged all these things; the Bible said you could and before feminism there was the word; you were only ignorant of it.
See, we live in a generation where we all want to play to the audience, we all want to turn our faith into a fashion parade and say, I am a believer because I write these things, because I won’t say these things. . . One thing, I’ve realized is that the worst thing you can ever do as a believer is to place the validation of your salvation, godliness and belief in the hands of people. . . I’ve read things like Devon Franklin is fake. Even yesterday I still read Joyce Meyer is satanic. . . Jeeeez!!! this is one woman whose ministry has tremendously blessed me *still blessing me sef* please, let us just live and know our stands. . . the world is a stage because we all can have time to get back into our reality when we are alone. We shouldn’t get so lost acting and forgetting it’s not real.
The word is the foundation.
So this is my pre-gender equality bill rant. . . ama share my candid opinion in a next post coming right up this week. . . It’s only in Nigeria that men can be sexist but Feminism is satanic. You can have your reservations but don’t come for me! Biko!
We can deny it all we want but there’s a gender inequality problem!
Humankind shall never find justice until first we ensure justice between the sexes, for it is the same way the so called stronger sex oppresses the weaker sex. . . that the stronger man oppresses the weaker man. And the stronger nations oppresses the weaker nations; may it not come to pass, Likewise that someday, the extraterrestrial cometh to oppress humankind. . . Lagbaja, Who man
© 2016. Ebukun Gbemisola Ogunyemi
PS: “Who man” is a song by Lagbaja. . . one of my favourites of all time. . . It’s a message and more than a song!. . . you can download. . . I’d add the lyrics maybe some other time.