If it were me would I be annoyed? Oh yes, I would be. . .
I remember starting my first series sometimes last year, and I think that was basically when I started my blog. I had just moved from blogspot to WordPress to start all over again. . . Do you know how depressing it is to realize that you started a series and it has taken you almost a year to finish up? Yea, it is ‘depressing’ but I understand that I have been away from writing for a while. . . You don’t really take a break from who you are, it just means I really wasn’t writing like I used to. . .
So breaking it down, I owe you guys some explanation. . . I would have explained, maybe not this soon, but someone tweeted at me tonight and I felt sad cos that wasn’t the first time he had tweeted. He was like the first person that had single-handedly tweeted at me on any social media account to tell me that he missed my series, like it’s been 6 months now, what happened? And then, I promised him I was gonna get back to the series soonish but I defaulted and then tonight, he was like it’s been four months of waiting for an update, so he’s giving up and I felt bad.
. . .
Here’s the thing, when I started this series, it was my first – not my first time at fiction or any other genre, it was different, it was me, doing my thing, I had time, I was home waiting on service, sometimes stabbing sleep or making sure I had data to upload and not disappoint cos that’s how much I value you my readers. . . Then in July, I went on an abrupt break – the circumstance was beyond my control, I can’t share right now but I wasn’t in the best shape. It was physically and emotionally ‘awesome’. . . for a month, I thought my life was about to change or my life could change sometimes in the future but there was Grace, I moved on cos I am more than a conqueror. . . I resumed, then another challenge, system breaking down, it wasn’t easy typing on phone. . . I broke communication. . . and then I came back. . . then again I went on a break, it was service year, Kebbi for God, I had to go to camp and trust me, I had really big plans for you my readers when I left and I promised to be back, I tried it a little and then my PPA, Private School, it’s a lot of balancing and work, and having time for myself and things I love. . . I can’t tell you how many subjects/classes I take coupled with being an Assistant Class teacher in Nursery 2! . . . did I mention that the Aunty in that class doesn’t like me using my phone even when I’m less busy unless we close by 3pm? Yea! ain’t that much of a fat person so I burn massive calories in the day and it wasn’t easy burning so much in the middle of the night. . . but I was born for this. . . All these are not reasons enough to be AWOL but I have to be honest. . . and CDS, very dramatic. . .so much stories. . .weekends are like free days but not so free, there Sha must be something to do! Nonetheless. . .
Holiday came, another avenue, but I just couldn’t meet up cos something happened to me, I took a deliberate break from writing. . . It wasn’t writers’ block but it was something different. I had inspirations, in fact, they were more than I used to have on a normal day but I couldn’t put them into words. . . I felt like I needed clarity, I was second-guessing if this was what God wanted me to do, if my artistic side was any barrier to the other sides of me God is exploring. . . I am sorry guys, I had amazing time for you from August but I just couldn’t be here from me to you. . . Cos every day I feel it, that there was more! There was more. . .
It has been a journey of a lifetime being at this stage right now. . . To have been able to say I am Ibukunwrites, it took me through some reels of life, discoveries and rediscoveries. Anybody can do what I do but definitely not the way I do it but what does it matter if I am not doing what I was designated to do. . .
But the truth is, most times we get too involved and become too distracted by other people’s purpose that we think ours is the same as theirs. Yea, maybe God has placed the mantle of responsibility on them just as you but it doesn’t mean just because theirs warranted them dropping something doesn’t mean you have to drop yours too. . . For a month, I haven’t been able to write like this for your reading. . . I mean, I have been having a lot of inspirations, sharings, on my Instagram page in poems/quotes. I even had to submit articles for a magazine in Lagos, I have met deadlines, I’ve had opportunities and blogs featuring this particular series I went AWOL on, that’s just it but this is where I started from, this is my blog, and not being able to flow with you people as usual isn’t okay. . . I know you miss me, yea, the me me cos I missed ya too but sometimes in life, when it seems blur, it’s okay to take some few steps back and dwell on it. . . and ask, ‘What am I missing?’
One of the things I also had to learn during my away time is that there are rush hours! You know those times when you feel no one recognizes you, no one appreciates your art, those are the dry days, but the fat days will come too but sometimes it would be a rush hour and if you get lost in the rush, you get distracted. . . So, I had to learn which opportunities to take and not to take. And the crazy part is, those opportunities would be beautiful and amazing, in fact, maybe international but don’t get too involved that you forget your own thing. I had to learn to say, yes, I would be here as much as I could be and if that can’t really work, I’m fine letting it go. Sometimes the things God have in stock for us is much more better than the things we chase.
So yea, two days ago, I was chatting with Femi Fragile, he’s an amazing person! And I’m grateful to God for the amazing people I have met in this writing niche. People who make you feel like they’ve known you all of their lives. . . we had this chat and he was like I’m gonna put a call to you right now. . . We talked and there, I had my clarity, I got what I’ve been waiting on to move forward ~His okay (God’s okay) while conversing..! And you know what, God can call you to be more in that position you occupy. . . He doesn’t need you to end your business to minister, and if there be need, you will get the memo?. . .Cos sometimes we can abuse our deposits even when we get the purpose mixed up!
Having read that tweet from Abdul tonight, I sat for a minute, put my fingers on my laptop’s keypad and here it is you’re reading cos we’re back baby! And yes I can say Nothing was lost in my away time, in fact, I had gained so much. . . I just wasn’t here to share them with you!
What else do I need say? I’m grateful for readers like Abdul who thought to reach out cos they love the story when I had thought nothing was special about it. . . Thanks to Sally who reached out to me one day unexpectedly that she would love to feature my series and I was like wawu! Because I never thought it was ‘fiction’ enough. . . and then, another reached me, and another, and another. . .
So guys, this post sounds so spiritual and like how did she get here from talking about abandoning the story, well I didn’t abandon the story. . . you might not really understand, but I do and I’m back, and that’s good news!!! And yea, our existence is spiritual so everything is spiritual. . .
Finally, let me just say if you must fear anything at all, fear getting your purpose mixed up or abusing it! I’d be doing a lot of sharing and redefinition but it’s the way God has decided it to be. . . Enooooooughhhhh! It af long enough and I’m kinda yawning too???. . .you don’t wanna be yawning in Church in the morning.
I love you guys! And I promise to find time out of ‘none’ to be here. . . Nothing is impossible. . . See ya on Tuesday with another post! Don’t know if it’s gonna be the series or something else. . . just wait for it and I’d definitely be bringing dem episodes too. . .
And if you happen to read this post in the morning, Good morning to you lovelies!??
By the way, post title is German. It means I am back!
Dare to live in purpose. Sometimes, it might require your vulnerability, transparency and opening yourself to new dimensions, and when you’re afraid, just trust! ~ Ibukunwrites