Personal Diaries

DON’T GIVE ROOM

spread positivity and good vibes. stay away from things that can trigger depression. please take care of your mental health, we’ve got dead men walking the streets lately. – @Blackprowriter (IG)

Has it ever crossed your mind that some people do really enjoy frustrating others and seeing them frustrated? Yes, I do believe there are people like that and I don’t know what they call them but I know I do not want them in my life.

I had a totally different blog post planned for today but on the contrary, I decided to allow myself to be an umpire and call the shots. I feel this blog is more than a blog to me – it’s like my personal space, where I’m more vulnerable after Instagram. So I get to rant and share my mindset with you and also letting it all out there; it’s actually therapeutic.

Okay, here’s the thing, have you ever felt like just when you’re getting out of the dark clouds, it feels like the atmosphere is about to start changing again? Well, I feel like that right now but the thing is, I’m not scared of seeing the atmosphere change like I used to before; I’d have probably broken down in frenzy and fear before the clouds come all dark again but then I realized, there is a lot of strength we possess that we do not know and chief of them is the ability to stay positive when it actually looks stupid. See, to be positive can be so dumb at times judging by what’s going on but being positive has never looked stupid on anyone before. Sometimes, all you need to keep the clouds clear is your faith and optimism.

there is a lot of strength we possess that we do not know and chief of them is the ability to stay positive when it actually looks stupid. Click To Tweet

At a point this year, during my depressive phase, I realized I had myself surrounded by so much drama. Like I had these people around me who in real sense add nothing whatsoever to me but enjoy seeing me miserable, acting crazy; more like really dedicated to making me feel less than who I am; they are the kind of people who do petty things to irritate you, disrespect you on purpose and say demeaning things that you begin to feel like you’re over-hyping yourself; no, you are not that smart, no, you are so ugly, no, you have no value, no, you are so unlovable, no, you’re only smart when you write and nothing else and I realized that apart from the fact that I was dealing with some traumatic memories that got me sinking in depression, those dramas around me also added to it. So, I decided to keep those people at arms length.

Sometimes, all you need to keep the clouds clear is your faith and optimism. Click To Tweet

Then, I’m presently in this phase where the dark clouds are gone; I feel like I have my joy, glow and happiness back and then you see these people kept at arms length trying to come for your joy. See, I don’t know how anyone can live this life without God and being spiritual cos believe me, I realized there is a reason the devil kept coming back for Job. He actually meant business apart from the fact that he had a bet to win. Just when he (Job) feels like a little break, he knacks him with something else to break him.

See, I hope someone gets this, it’s just like that moment when you’re feeling pumped, they just come around to snag off your pump tip; like you don’t deserve to feel that joy but hell no! I deserve it. See, I am like in this phase of my life where I am unapologetic about my dislikes, my boundaries, my feelings, my joy, my disapproval, my anger – I don’t really want to care who thinks what about me; who thinks I am all that or I’m not. I care about what I see and say to myself every morning and night that I look myself in the mirror and say “Ibukun, you better still remember that you’re amazing baby girl! You’re not perfect but you’re just right, more than enough and righteous in Christ. You’re not just lucky to be smart, you’re smart baby girl and you’re immeasurably intelligent.”

You know! That right there is the energy I need; the ones I want to water and keep alive; the ones I want to see flourish, sleep in and wake up to! That’s the kind of life I’m choosing for myself and you know what, you should choose that life too. I am fiercely protective of my peace, my sanity, my calm and my serenity. I mean I am jealously guarding it. So yes, when someone comes with their drama, trying to make you feel like what you’re not, hoping you’ll fall apart as usual and start ranting crazy; maybe they probably come trying to pull the door down and not even knock, girl, don’t give room cos you’re not just sitting; you’re standing right by that door hoping God help that person; he/she better be ready to go through you first to access the door of your mental health.

Some people are poised to bringing drama with them each time they come into your life. Hey! baby girl, DON'T GIVE ROOM! Click To Tweet

Most importantly, I think the truth is, when you are just coming out of a phase like depression and other stuff, you’re still quite fragile for pollution; it’s like your wounds are finally healing and you’re jealously guarding them against infections. You just don’t use about anything on it; you don’t take it to just any person to look at for you. You become protective of everything that’s crucial to your wholeness; everything that makes you!

Sometimes, you just gotta be sure about people’s sanity before you let them back in. Yea, I know I am strong, I know you are strong but hey, your strength wasn’t built for repeat tests over and over.

Sometimes, you just gotta be sure about people's sanity before you let them back in. Yea, I know I am strong, I know you are strong but hey, your strength wasn't built for repeat tests over and over. Click To Tweet

Finally, I think one of the most beautiful things we can do for our sanity is evaluating our relationships often.  There’s no place for décor; no place for parasitic relationships – examine and evaluate to see the ones worth keeping and the ones that took this long to get trashed.

Love your neighbor as yourself. Don’t take what you won’t give!!! Don’t be humble with your mental health. Don’t condone; don’t play stupid thinking it’s being nice and respectful. It’s draining you, you can see it! Don’t deny it anymore; let them all go and stand up to it. Let whoever, realize you’re bolder, stronger, fierce and much more confident than you used to be. You’re not a doormat. I am not a doormat. I am a Queen and I won’t take less treatments. I am no longer trying to look respectable under the disguise of being objectified. Don’t give room for more. You’ve done enough. – Ibukunwrites.

This sounds so. . . I don’t know but please, do have a wonderful day till I come your way again this week!

Finally, I think one of the most beautiful things we can do for our sanity is evaluating our relationships often. There’s no place for décor; no place for parasitic relationships – examine and evaluate to see the ones worth keeping… Click To Tweet

What’s your take on the blog post? Have you ever experienced people trying to consciously make you feel worse about yourself? Have you ever had to be in friendships/relationships that brings drama each and every time? How do you protect your mental health space? What do you think overall of the tips mentioned in this post? I’d really love to read from you. Please, do share with me by leaving a comment in the comment box. I want to read from you and respond to you!

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Hugs and Light,

Ibukunwrites.

 

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Feminist with unconventional thoughts . . . an everything art, literature, daily living and lifestyle world with enough faith toppings. Sometimes, the toppings are everything. Here, you give in to your cravings, get satisfied, crave anew and stay addicted.

7 Comments

  • Gav L

    Ibukun, the tips on this blog are honest and thoughtful. I like your one about evaluating your relationships often. It helps you focus on who your true friends are and who is just a colleague, nice asthey are, who gossips about you. This makes you think about how your friends have helped you and you appreciate them all the more. You can then turn this round and consider how you treat your true friends, do you bother them with trivia you should be sorting yourself or are you being the best version of yourself and radiating positive energy they can feed off. Don’t bring drama bring positive energy. We all go through episodes of self doubt and draw on our friends but we should never forget to repay their kindness in giving their time to listen to us. I think it’s important to have an interest that gives you time to relax and recharge your mental health mine is cycling and reading, I can just lose myself and plan how I want the future to look, keep learning and trying new things. True friends want you to succeed, i agree the toxic colleagues need to be kept at arms length. I’ve enjoyed reading this post, it makes you think.




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    • ibukunwrites

      Awww thanks so much Gav. I like the new angle you brought my attention to; the need to appreciate true friends more and also be there for them. Also, having an interest that helps one to relax us really cool. I’ll pay attention to what mine is. Thanks a lot for sharing with me; quite insightful!!!




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  • Biyi Toluwalase

    “Then, I’m presently in this phase where the dark clouds are gone; I feel like I have my joy, glow and happiness back” You can’t even begin to imagine the joy reading these few lines brought to my heart. I’m so happy for you,girl. Ain’t no one gon’ rain on your parade.

    And, for those people who enjoy seeing others frustrated, I think they are called saddists. Like all those yeye professors we had back then in OAU that loved seeing students fail en mass. Awon werey oshi!




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    • ibukunwrites

      Awwwwnnn Tolu!!! 😍😍😍 thanks! This is so heartwarming; knowing that my joy made you feel that way is priceless. Thank you! You know I appreciate you right 😚😘

      Yea you’re right about the name thing. Àwọn yẹn má wá alright last last 😁😁😁😁




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  • Ozioma Paul

    Whao!
    You are so right on this girl!
    I love the last tweet on this post… don’t condone ill relationships because it is actually draining to you.
    Thank you for sharing this 🙂




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