ART & LIFESTYLE FUCK THE PATRIARCHY Okurr! Let's talk about it

Something as countable as sperm.

It’s the last day of the year 2018! I thought to myself what better time to share this poignant but not the last piece of my mind if not today after many days and weeks of postponement? I mean, it’s been a long and eventful year with so many ignorant, myopic and patriarchal expressions and writings littered all over the social media space and also with tireless back to back writings and verbal expressions consistently dedicated to humiliating, questioning, criticizing and making a correction of these shameful and uninhibited patriarchal mindsets expressed in writings.

As someone who has been a victim of these ridiculousness a couple of times, I’m not only appalled when I read or hear these patriarchal motivated stuff, I’m most sad that people, especially men are quick to call you names like radical, senseless, distracted, over-educated, dick-deprived, etc. when you react differently as against the reaction they expect of a traditional African woman. Even at that, I’m mostly not surprised because it’s too much expectation looking forward to anything less from these men; these ones who are always too quick to publicize their ignorance in writings about feminism on a global space like social media.

A lot of times, I’ve read and heard people say that feminists are a bunch of people who are angry at all men in general. Even though, I laugh at this hasty generalization, assumption and mindset all the time, I still think the dick is… Click To Tweet

These name callings actually led me to writing this piece. A lot of times, I’ve read and heard people say that feminists are a bunch of people who are angry at all men in general. Even though, I laugh at this hasty generalization, assumption and mindset all the time, I still think the dick is overrated. I mean, this is the essence of this post; to be unashamed about being perceived as an angry feminist, man hater and dick-deprived especially.

A lot of times I’ve heard men say “she needs a dick; get her a dick!” Sometimes, you hear “she needs a good dick!” this is very comic. You know why, it means the almighty dick itself is flawed and devoid of any perfection if there could actually be bad and good ones. In as much as this post is not directed at dissecting, ridiculing and evaluating the anatomy of the dick, I think it’s very patriarchal when men become so quick to suggest that a woman needs a dick in an attempt to shut her down, shut her up and call her opinions, actions and reactions garbage. A woman can’t be blunt, opinionated and unconventional in her thoughts and expressions unless she’s dick-deprived. I think that it is a very big insult to credit a woman’s intelligence, fluency, word mastery and more to the availability of the dick and this often times is hardly the case because patriarchy believes the dick is powerful enough to buy a woman’s silence and make her speech slurry, conventional or ordinary. In other words, if she’s not conventional and traditional enough to submit herself to patriarchy, then whatever comes out of her mouth which is bound to be untraditional which in turn makes her unwifable and an angry feminist who is definitely not getting the correct dick. The annoying part is that it’s not enough that we shame women for having sex; we also think that the dick is powerful enough to make a woman powerless and strip her of her voice, opinions, strength and difference.

Few months back, I shared a picture of myself hugging a fellow Queen with my back side facing the camera on my whatsapp story and then I got a message from a male contact telling me “e ku sperming” which means “happy sperming.” First of all, I didn’t deem it fit to dignify such written expression of stupidity with a response; I simply deleted the contact and move on because biblically, it’s not wise to answer a fool according to his folly lest you become same.

The annoying part is that it’s not enough that we shame women for having sex; we also think that the dick is powerful enough to make a woman powerless and strip her of her voice, opinions, strength and difference. Click To Tweet

The point is, this contact didn’t think my bumbum should be “that big” with my kind of body except I’m ingesting my body with sperm definitely through sex.

It’s sad that this kind of man actually think being sexually active is something a woman should be shamed for and when a woman’s bumbum becomes big (overnight/suddenly/unexpectedly/or not), it has to be sperm. What a folly! To think a woman’s body couldn’t be at its very best without the help of the dick is such a pompous mindset rooted in patriarchy and to be educated and still believe in shaming women for sex is a waste of education.

As we begin the New Year, let’s do away with shaming women for sex and overhyping the dick. Sometimes, I wonder, what’s a heterosexual one without the vagina? I wish I could say more and write more but for now, this is cheers to not being ashamed to call myself a feminist. Cheers to a life forever dedicated to rewriting these stereotypically created narratives of African women by the society. Don’t help in propagating myopic and archaic mindsets in 2019. Don’t just hop on other people’s senses without checking their authenticity and validity. Don’t be a member of the bandwagon, get real knowledge.  If you can’t go to school to learn, technology is home school. Use it wisely.

To think a woman’s body couldn’t be at its very best without the help of the dick is such a pompous mindset rooted in patriarchy and to be educated and still believe in shaming women for sex is a waste of education. Click To Tweet

Happy New Year in advance guys! God has been faithful to me. I’m sure He has been to you too! See you in 2019!

Love,

Ibukunwrites.

2 thoughts on “Something as countable as sperm.”

  1. Ibukun, this made me laugh so much, it’s spot on, devastatingly accurate and hilarious at the same time. Where do you find these men? Are there any brains behind their “dicks” ? I expect they are all legends in their own fantasies. So my question is “Why would any man be threatened by an intelligent, articulate woman who challenges your perceptions? ” Surely life will be more fulfilling and rewarding with such a woman.

    1. I’m so glad you enjoyed the post that much. I wish these kind of men are willing to share your opinion but then, don’t we have to blame patriarchy and societal constructions on gender for everything? Or is it the refusal of these same men to challenge these status quo that enables men to continue the tradition of subjugating women as a means of power exertion and pride themselves as superior to the woman that is to blame? One day, I believe, Nigeria will surely get there – these men will.

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