Kebbi Diaries

Only In The North

Halloz guys! Inawuni! it’s been days I know but the harmattan hasn’t been so friendly; had some breakdowns and all.
That being said, expect the next episode of the series on Friday morning.
Moving on,
I’ve been keeping this post in my archive for a while now. . .so, why not share!
Below are the things you find mostly in the North.
1. A typical hausa boy can ride kabu(okada/bike).
2. It’s a harvest of fruits in the North ~ from Pineapple to Watermelon, Apple, Lemon, Coconut, Carrots, Banana etc. I can go on. . . . my favourite right now has been sugarcane! Can’t stop!!!. . .there’s even an abundance of Lettuce and Irish potatoes here!

Me buying carrots

By yours truly

4. There are giant garden eggs like I’ve never seen them before anywhere except in the North.
5. A random man waves at you, smiling anyhow.
6. Buy suya with consciousness lest you buy suya made from dog and goat.
7. You have to state what type of oil you’re buying if it’s vegetable or groundnut oil or else you automatically get groundnut oil. Hausa people use groundnut oil.
8. In the North, they watch more GOtv than DSTV. It’s like epidemic.
9. Even the ‘ugliest’ house has an AC! blame it on the weather.
10.  People confidently tell you they can’t speak English! Like wtf! You hear stuffs like ‘ba Turenchi’
11. Buy 200 worth of tomatoes, pepper and tatshe and you’d use it to cook at least thrice.yes!

Moi at the market

12. There are more mosquitoes than houseflies. It’s more like a competition.
13. People sleep with more mosquito coils than they use spray.
14.You gotta to be careful about meats or else you’ll eat camel, goat, dog even alligator.
15. Module is more expensive than a Congo equivalent.
16. Fences are higher than the building. . . they don’t want random men peeping at their wives.
17. There’s ba shiga. It means houses men cannot enter . . . shiga is enter.
18. There are numerous words for one thing in Hausa language.
19. There’s extreme weather condition from sun to cold.
20. There are more floored toilets than water closets.

21. Meat is cheaper than fish.
22. They sing songs they don’t understand especially all these Olamide songs etc. 
23. Noodles sells more in the North than anywhere.
24. Sometimes Teachers use Hausa to teach.
25. All Churches are in one area (yes). The area is called Badariya. I heard it means no joy. Ba a da riya. But people don’t pronounce it like that. You see Redeem beside Winners and then Solomon’s City and then Foursquare, CAC, ECWA, etc. 
26. Men wear more babarigas than shirts.
27. Market opens by 10.00am and closes by 6.00pm.
28. There are no cold/soft drinks joint in the market. Like warrisdt? You can’t even try it in Kuto or Lafenwa market.
29.  People receive calls inside bankkkkkk. Like iz not ‘tryable’ in the West.
30. Hausa people withdraw more than 500k at the counter. As in dem no send.
31. They don’t reject torn money in the North. As in no matter how bad the money is, you get to spend it. That’s a brain buster . . . lol! It’s cool.
32. Men bend down to pee. Like almost kneeling self. Very weird to see. . . the worst part is they are not shy about it, they do it in the open,beside gutters etc.
33. Students collapse anyhow when you beat them. It’s popular in public schools. Many students are possessed and before you know it, it has spread through the class. . . and there’s a standby deliverer (it could be the Islamic teacher etc.) Sometimes a whole family can have the spirit.
34. Finally, there’s 24/7 light!!!!!!! Like this is the best of em all. . . that’s one thing I’d miss about the North very well.
I hope you enjoyed this! I’d try to bring more pictures. . . still need like Gionee Marathon M5/Infinix Hot S/Note 3 Pro as my Christmas/New Year gifts o!
Till Friday???
~ ©Ibukunwrites


  1. Debs

    December 14, 2016 at 5:42 pm

    Hahahahahahahahahaha…I was told about how Hausa people accept torn money too and when I went to NYSC camp that year, I went with all the torn money my parents have kept (they mix these with good notes to buy fuel) and I spent all.
    Living in the North can be a mix of good and bad though…

    1. Ebukun Gbemisola Ogunyemi

      December 14, 2016 at 6:04 pm

      Hahahahahaha Debs! Oshey baddest! I feel you o! Chai! Carry all the bad bad money go camp. . . yea! It’s a mix

  2. tyna paul

    December 14, 2016 at 5:55 pm

    After reading this, I missed my time in the north where I searved.

  3. Adaeze

    December 14, 2016 at 6:41 pm

    I laughed all through the post, this gal you should become a comedian!

    1. Ebukun Gbemisola Ogunyemi

      December 14, 2016 at 6:59 pm

      Hahahahahaha thanks hon.❤ I missed your comments. Let’s see how 2017 can make that comic career happen ????

  4. Remilekun

    December 16, 2016 at 11:22 am

    Egbami,light bawo…be like say I go say make dem port you go Kano or jigawa

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