Category Archives: PERSONAL DIARIES

Hey! I’m Bringing ‘HIT’ back

Happy New Week Blogfam!!!! Thanks for the love in the previous blogpost; it’s been sunshine and warmth here! Thank you!

So, a quick run to d-destination?
Many years ago (??? I mean, it’s sounding like a decade down the line but naaaah!!! Iz not) I started a series on this blog and I couldn’t go on!

A little history

One time, I found myself on blogspot and I started this series; then I found myself on naijastories and I started sharing the series there too! And again, I moved to WordPress and I started fully but along the line, a lot of things happened (challenges that couldn’t help but affect my dedication to the story and the blog itself).
I did quite a number of posts to explain and expose the situation because, I wouldn’t stop getting messages. In fact, some were quite insulting and critical, all in the process of finding out what’s up with the series. Yet, all of these I understood and did my best to respond to.
Check this: Ich bin zuruck
While at that, I got a lot of mails from people wanting to feature the series on their platforms seeking my permission and of which I gladly gave (at no cost pls). At those points, getting those mails was lifting for me. I wasn’t in a good place to put most of my pieces out here on the blog and I couldn’t continue the series either but I was motivated by the desires of those platforms to feature them. I felt there was something I was doing right and I desired the energy to get back to it again.
Related: Hi, I’m Due!
Chief of all the motivation I got was the mail from Sally of moskedapages showing her willingness to feature my series. By that time, I had resumed the series in private but not on the blog and then again, I couldn’t go on! For that reason, Sally had no choice but to halt my series on her page which I totally understand why even though I wished things were different.
But, in all of these journeys, I had to make certain decisions and I realized I give less credit to myself for how far I’ve come and how much I’ve managed to pull successfully even though all odds were not in my favour! I walk in my own shoes and I can tell you, how I’ve managed to pull my career/passion/art/work through my everyday issues astounds me!
Related: While I was Away
And then I had this penned down somewhere in my diary when I had one those series messages and I got engrossed thinking about it all . . .

Sometimes we go through the motions of life and I can say I’ve had my very unfair share of life experiences and daily, I do my best to make sure that it fuels my creativity than tear it apart but sometimes, I can’t control these things; sometimes, I need a break, sometimes, I’m falling apart, sometimes, I’m trying to be hopeful, sometimes, I need to write to God more than I write here and sometimes, I need to edify others while I go through my pain and in all these years, one thing I’ve realized is, I’m allowed to own my moments – I’m allowed to pull a pause on whatever, if I think it’s best. I’m allowed to define strong differently. I’m allowed to take a break and the truth is, no one is as important to a writer than her audience and her creative musings but a writer only live many lives on the pages of a book and she’s living those lives because she’s here experiencing them. ~ Ibukunwrites.

Above all, I realized people do not understand these things – they are not insensitive, they are just protective and concerned of their brand and yearns greatly for what’s next in your storytelling.
I’m someone who have lived for quite a lot of people in my life (ironically, some of them aren’t even in my life; I realized I was the one thinking they were all the while)…
My point. . .
Today is not about reflecting on the pains, the break, the setback, the pause, the platforms that pulled a plug on the opportunity I had or the ones that left my space opened till I was ready to be back; today is not about telling you how tired and exhausted I was and can be sometimes; neither is it about telling you how unwilling I am to live for anyone right now other than God, myself and the ones I strongly feel in my spirit He has wrapped my story around for their leap.
Today is about telling you that come second Monday in April, I’ll be bringing the series back from where it stopped and other new series afterwards.
I’ll also make it into an eBook for free download on okadabooks.
I just want to say a very big thank you to Beatrice Ofowena for the mail she sent to me on 28th February. You’re the reason I’ve decided not to abandon the series anymore and you’re also the reason I decided to log into my naijastories page after two years!!!!
And you know, yesterday, while I was thinking about this post, I had to Google Memoirs of A Repentant Slut/Hooker/Escort and I was shook at the numbers of blog that featured it without my permission sef and yea, they gave me credit!
Dear Beatrice, thank you! You made me do that! And yea, I can’t believe people are actually still reading and are crazy about that series! I used to think it was whack! and one of the reasons I didn’t even want to bring it back was because I was certain no one will be interested again.
Dear Ìbùkúnwrites, I know you’re never thinking anything whatsoever that comes from you is whack ever again!!!!!
You’re a star baby girl! ?
A very big thank you to all of my readers and followers from the very first day of Episode 1
God bless y’all! And just in case you’re wondering what this series thing is, check here Memoirs of A Repentant Hooker
Do have a beautiful week! ?
Xoxo
Ìbùkúnwrites ❣

Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert. ~ Isaiah 43:19 NLT

My Depression Memoirs

People think depression is sadness, crying or dressing in black. But people are wrong. Depression is the constant feeling of being numb. You wake up in the morning just to go back to bed again. ~ healthyplace.com

Depression has been one of the silent battles of my life. I had my first that lasted four years in 2011 and again, in 2017, I began having another phase.
I remember starting this year on a very hopeful note – I mean, the moment I celebrated another year in 2017, I was hopeful and positive about a lot of things. There were promises and aspiring new beginnings even though, at a point, I questioned my readiness to have them but looking back through the moment of happy new year through now, I discovered that things had not panned out the way I wanted; everything I probably thought I wouldn’t have to go through anymore, I’ve had to experience it more than before – I’ve been battling depression for months now but I’ve come to realize that the more life comes at you, the stronger you are forced to become and yea, maybe life will keep coming at us to take a hit, maybe situations may never change but I’ve realized, with every brokenness survived, we evolve and with every evolution, we become better in our approach and attitude to life.
I’ve realized so far, through the years of my depression, that happiness isn’t something determined by our situation; happiness is intentional, happiness is a state of mind; something that comes from within, with energy that makes every going through immaterial; something that makes you feel great even when the struggles don’t look great.
Happiness is more than smiles; it’s a state of mind we daily aspire to achieve! It’s how we stay in control and to possess such a great calm even while in the storm takes a lot of daily intentionality. More like nothing is sapping your energy no matter how hard it tries, you’re the one trying to radiate the energy from within to defy the physical odds.
Sometimes, it could feel as if God has forgotten – like God’s not there; like can he just make it go away? The pain, the emptiness, the drain, the discomfort, the memories? But you know what, God never leaves! He’s always there.
For me, I feel God speaks more in my silence (when I’ve got so much to say to Him and I can’t find my words) ‘cause in such moments, my mind speaks what my lips denied free flow of passage.
Related: What We Don’t Know About Suicide
These days, I scroll through the memoirs of past depressive years – both in ink and in mind; I remind myself what worked, how she survived the numbness, passiveness, the blankness; how she became energized out of total exhaustion and how she found hope in despair
And maybe sometimes, you don’t know how to let people in – sometimes, depression can be so real that you begin to see almost everyone through the eyes of your depression; in such moments, it can look like you are the only one that gives two shits about you; you have opinions like friendship is overrated and it’s only for the good times – maybe you’d feel much of they’d never understand – that maybe true but not totally true; sometimes you may not be able to explain why you are feeling aloof, withdrawn, into yourself, detached but it’s okay not to know; it’s okay not to want to communicate with the whole world for a while; it’s okay to realize that sometimes just when you think you’re done with it, it comes knocking on your door again.
When life take shots at you again through depression, take yourself through the healing road, remind yourself how you healed this far! Allow yourself to go through it in your own way – embrace the process but be aware; if it feels like border line and what worked the first time doesn’t seem to work – reach out!
I’m a believer in our ability to survive, fight and win, never to give in to pressing and losing!
I say to myself “Ibukun, be determined to see another day so you get to live many days!!! It’s not over unless I say it is! But I’m never gonna say it’s over ‘cause I’m larger than life and if that’s true, I’m too big for life to swallow!!!
I’m going through my process and again, I’ll win depression but I just want you to know, if you ever feeling depressed, you can always say to yourself what I say to myself and most importantly, you should know that it is very okay to take a break from trying to take care of the whole world just so you can take care of yourself! You’ll still gonna have your world to rock when you’re truly fine!!!

Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him. ~ Psalm 62:5 NLT

MY 2018 READING PLAN + A BOOK REVIEW

It is what you read when you don’t have to that determines what you will be when you can’t help it. ~ Oscar Wilde.

Last year, I started a pattern of book reviews here but I couldn’t go through with them for long till I went on that long hiatus but being a person who’s quite engaged in a lot of writings, I’ve decided to be very conscious of my reading life.
Related: Dangerous Passion The Type. We carry the sky
Let me just say this, I’m an avid reader but trust me, it’s possible not to pick a book to read in one month or probably pick a book to read and not finish until forever because of some writing commitments – that’s just me being ?.

A Writer is a Reader.

In that regards, I’ve decided to do what’s called a 2018 Reading Plan where I’d be reading a total of 50 books. I love round figures. It’s quite easy to say 52 after all there are 52 weeks in the year but mehn, who’s counting! I’m not trying to impress anyone; I’m just trying to be accountable for my reading life! I don’t need it to just bloom; I need it blooming (continuously).
So how am I going to do it?
Well, I’ve seen quite a lot of reading plans and then it has too much routine and rules and believe me, I’m quite a rule breaker, I don’t do so much with them. I can’t afford to read a book by letter, by history, by author, etc. It’s cool ‘cause I probably might use some of those factors in picking any book to read but not like I’m conditioned to do that for a particular month/week (I’m not trying to criticise people who do it, I’m just trying to explain my own hesitation about that style). It’s going to be quite random for me – I’m quite spontaneous; I pick whichever attracts me (Nigerian, African, Foreign, Memoir, Fiction, Poetry, Spiritual, etc.) and that could be based on personal recommendation, reviews read, affection for a particular author, etc.
Also, I’m not doing a number per month; I’m gonna be very intentional by making sure it’s 50! But yea, I could set a goal limit for each month like at least 3 books per month (as check and balance).
It’s better to exceed your reading goals than to fall short.
So, have I started?
Yes. I have. Read two books already in January; presently on my third; that’s like (-3+50) for me and I’m gonna be reviewing one of them today!?

PC: @blackmilkwomen (IG)

Drum rolls!
Title: The Last Black Unicorn
Genre: Memoir/Autobiography
Author: Tiffany Haddish
Publisher: Gallery Books (Simon and Schuster)
Year of Publication: 2017
Number of Pages: 373 (my ebook reader version)
ISBN: 978-1-5011-8184-9
A little history!
L – R (Myself, Debs and Tolu at Jabbi Mall restroom)

That picture up there is dated August, 2017! Yea, that was me hanging out in Abuja with two of my favourite persons during my work holiday. I was meeting the two of them for the first time after a long time of online friendship and call relationship.
So, it happened that we decided to go see a movie at Jabbi Mall and that movie was Girls Trip. More like, me and my girls were hooking up after a long time of never seeing and we were there to see a movie about four girls who were reuniting after a long time of separation (The Flossy Possy) – I’m not here to review the movie? (lemme fall back in line).
Should have reviewed that movie since last year but I know many of y’all probably would have seen it but I’m still gonna put up a review for my opinion’s sake and for blog’s sake. ?. . .
Why the history?
The history is to help you understand my drive behind reading that book up there. For me, and for everyone out there that saw the movie, I want to believe Tiffany Haddish blew their mind! As in, she was like the highlight of it all and I was like, how come I’ve never heard of this woman until now? What kind of movies have I been seeing? . . . But you know what; I saw that movie twice at the Cinema. . . What!!!? Yea!
First, I didn’t go see it again cos I was obsessed with (eyes rolling) it but I had another date with one of my friends (Yetunde) working in Abuja to go see a movie and when we got there, we wanted to see something else that was unfortunately not shown at the Silverbird Cinema but Girls Trip was just starting and she had wanted to see it, so I had to pretend as if I hadn’t seen it so my friend could see it (I just couldn’t deprive her of laughing it all out by deciding to see something else you know) but guess what, I was a terrible actor? and my friend could tell I had seen the movie before.
You know that moment you try to laugh extra hard or you’re under-laughing and that shoot-yourself-in-the-leg moment when you’re carelessly giving spoilers for the next scene and she be looking at you and the spirit of God be telling her, check that girl well, she been here before???!
Now, the sold out moment was when we were walking out and we bumped into my friend that I had come to Abuja to meet (Debs) with Seyifunmi (another friend of hers I had met) they were on ‘after work shopping’ and by the way, Debs had met Yetunde before that day and she knew I was out with her and she was like what movie did you guys see and Yetunde replied Girls Trip and Debs just sold me out, and she be like Ibukun, you saw that movie again?
And Yetunde that took me out was like ehn ehn, I was sensing it. Gosh! She was like you could have told me, we would have seen something else since the outing was about me; but I was trying to make sure she didn’t have to make that sacrifice. I had seen the movie, I loved it and she hasn’t and she’s quite a busy person, she may never have the time! so why not see it again on my part?
Yetunde and myself waiting for our tickets

Me strutting outta shoprite

A clear picture with Yetunde at Codstone

Anyways, back to the book.
I knew I was gonna feed on anything Tiffany Haddish from that cinema moment. I fell in love right there watching Girls Trip and saying she got my heart was an understatement. She was dang hilarious and funny and you know what, I had to online track her??. In my mind, I was like Girl, you’ve got a diehard fan in me. . . So, I followed her on Instagram (I do that a lot when I fall in love with someone’s personality).
Fortunately afterwards, the movie apparently sold out and yea, it’s time the world gotta know Tiffany Motherfucking Haddish (sorry, that was how she put it in the book). So, she wrote a book and I knew I was gonna be reading it. I have a thing for nonfictions a lot! It’s a type of literature I practically live for.
So, what should you expect reading The Last Black Unicorn?
PC: audible_com (IG)

1. This is Tiffany Haddish very vulnerable and bare to the whole world. You know, vulnerability is a big deal. It takes strength and a lot of freedom in who you are and acceptance of all that you are and believing all that matters is the way you and God alone sees you! So it doesn’t matter who has an opinion or who is trying to make his/her opinion counts.
2. This book is raw (like undiluted), deep and hilarious. I mean, this is gonna make you laugh really hard (you better not be reading this when your grandmamma is at home and she’s gonna be hearing you laugh hard cos you gonna keep getting the girl! Are you alright? Check). Truthfully, I expected her writing style (very comic) ‘cause I was consciously reading with her personality in my head that it became pretty easy for me to laugh really hard at some things (like I was imagining Dina from Girls Trip talking to me). She had her voice written all over the narrative. . . she would make you laugh even at the painful things.


3. Most importantly, this book is not a comic book. It’s a painstakingly narrated story of struggles, joy and pain especially through the eye of comedy. Tiffany Haddish lived a hard life – a very rough and traumatized childhood, serial relationship pains, abuse, domestic violence, divorcing the same man twice, fighting through a men-dominated comedy world as a woman and becoming a Hollywood hit girl.


4. Trust me, this book is a lot!!!
Favourites: My favourite parts were where she talked about Roscoe; a character with a physical challenge (it was very inspiring to me – I didn’t find it offensive at all; she handled the sensitivity very well as far I’m concerned). Also, I love the part where she talked about being friends with Jada, hanging out with Jada and Will Smith; meeting the Queen of Soul, Mary J. Blige and how she handled her success when people who had rejected her started calling after Girls Trip became a box office hit (trust me, I was literally smiling at that point. I could imagine that feeling of being wanted by the ones who had rejected you and make you feel like some shitty holes down the drainage).

Reservations: In all fairness, I really do not have any. Of course, it is normal that people would crave for more depth when it comes to truth-telling especially (memoirs, autobiography, biography, etc.) but I like to put it at the back of my mind that a person’s story is theirs to own which includes, how they tell it, what they tell and what they hold back. For me, this is a truth well told for someone who is a Comedian and an Actor! Tiffany is not only hilarious but also a great story and truth teller. In the book, she mentioned that after breaking things off with Roscoe, he disappeared and no one knows where he is till date – a part of me did wish he is still alive somewhere.
Rating: 9.0 out of 10.
Extra: I just want to say thank you to Tiffany Haddish for sharing her truth with the whole world! It takes strength and love to see others being free to accept who they are to do that. Also, her success is well deserved and admirable. She’s one heaven of a fighter.
PS: Everyone should really read this book and it is important to say that there are lots of lessons to pick, so, don’t get carried away with the comic telling and yea, this book has an audio version; I can tell it’s gonna be fire and smoke altogether!

Lest I forget, If you’ve not subscribe, kindly subscribe to my blog. Leave comments (I so want to see my comment section blow up), share this post (it’s important – help me reach a wider audience) and lastly, follow me on social media (link is down the page).
Till I come your way next week with another interesting post, please, do have an amazing and fun-filled weekend.

Everyone should have a strong and very active reading culture. It has nothing to do with being a Writer or not! It has everything to do with overall self development.

What do you think of reading plans? Is it an idea you’d buy? What do you think of Tiffany Haddish’s The Last Black Unicorn?
Xoxo?
©2018. Ibukunwrites.

Nonfiction is more than telling the world your story; it’s also helping others tell their stories! ~ Ibukunwrites

I'm Renewing My Vows

Vows made in storms are forgotten in calm. ~ Thomas Fuller.


Writing this piece took quite a long time. For some minutes, I was simply staring at my laptop while trying to pick my words. I did went AWOL so many times in year 2017 because I could tell you, that year was one of the most traumatic years of my life. I couldn’t wait for the year to roll by. I lost a lot of myself, I questioned my mental health and most importantly, I dared myself to survive again. I can tell you it feels weird having to tell y’all a Happy New Year while the first month of the New Year is almost gone ‘cause I’d be pissed if someone wished me a happy birthday two days after the day (I just hate the word arrears/belated. . . advance is really cool though – my point is, I know the greeting sucks but I’m gonna say it anyway).
Yasss, A Happy New Year to you my amazing readers (I know it’s weird. . . but weird is my best right now). I just hope y’all understand. . . forgive my lateness. I couldn’t help it.
Alright. . .
before I stop talking about the old year (keeping not the former things), I would like to say that I made some life changing and ridiculous decisions before it ended. I walked away from an environment that stole my joy, made me question who I am in a very crushing manner; I quit my job, I got another job and then, I walked away from it again (even before starting). . . sounds ridiculous right? I know. . . It was so bad even till the first three weeks of January; I was depressed but I’m good now, looking at great.
Well, (I’m sure I’m gonna talk about all of those things as this blog launches its course this new year. . . I’m just gonna crave y’alls indulgence that you stick with me; it promises to be great, believe me!). I’m challenging myself a lot this new year to do so many things that scares me. . . so, that’s that.

For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him. ~ Philippians 2:13.

Y’all probably wondering; what’s up with I’m renewing my vows!
For starters, renewing vows (obviously marriage vows) isn’t really a Nigerian thing but we’ve had one or two celebrities in Nigeria renew their vows (e.g. Olu Jacobs and Joke Silva) but I for one had seen a lot of television characters renew their vows and when I did think about it, I realized renewing vows is very vital and helpful. It reminds the couple the whys, the spark, the need to be together, why each other, etc. ‘cause you know what, the pressure is real out there. It’s easy to get carried away and buried in a love of things that you begin to unconsciously care less and become not-so-dedicated like you used to. There’s work, children, your individual selves, family, friends, etc.
Renewing the vows helps stay committed and you know what I think, I think it should be done often – may be not always, but each time you mark an anniversary, that’s how you see silver jubilee together. And you know what also crossed my mind, it doesn’t have to be a large event; in fact, it doesn’t have to be public. Private is cool but none is outrageous.
So, how does that apply to me?
Well, sometimes, distractions don’t look like diversions; they look like what you really need! They look like opportunities that are rare; they look like platforms and avenues; they look like career and commitments; in fact, it can look like branding and you know what, you can begin to lose touch with what’s really yours! Where you started. . . and you know what, where you started from is always an integral part of your story; even if it’s sour, that’s what makes appreciating your sweet turn out very admirable.
So how do I fix that?
By going down the memory lane. Reminding myself why I started, how I started and the reason I needed to keep it, not abandon it and just walk away. For me, the it is my blog! Apart from the fact that I was a little depressed at the beginning of the year, I sort of told myself I wasn’t going to start blogging until I’ve branded and abandon my free domain for a paid for domain. You know what, the reason was so comfortable.
I’ve been blogging for some years now (not that long o) and leaving the free domain for a paid one is one branding step I should have taken by now and you know what, it wouldn’t really look so cool if I don’t when I had made the intention to do so known to y’all (me reasoning) but I had forgotten that people like Linda Ikeji spent years operating a free domain even though they had the money and I also forgot that I wasn’t really making money directly from this platform. So, why am I hard on myself??
Don’t get me wrong, branding is really cool! I’m branding. . . everyday, I challenge myself to do new kinds of writing thereby expanding my horizon, that’s branding. Daily making efforts to sell myself – that’s branding (get a business card, etc.), you know, it’s all part of it! Investing in yourself but what I’m saying is, sometimes we plan towards these things and the plans fail but you know what I think? Even if your plans fail, don’t let your interest fade. Keep it alive by reminding you why you started. I’m one of those people who think it’s possible making money from blogging but I’m still one of those people who wouldn’t stop blogging if I don’t make money from it because I didn’t launch out for that sake. I blog because I enjoy it. I blog because I want to share my stuff with the world and you know the beautiful thing about all of these is I get to inspire people! People get to enjoy my content. I’ve made quite a lot of contacts, I’ve sort of built a community. I’ve gotten opportunities showing my stuff here (that’s kinda making money to me – you may not get the ads, but you can get the highs?). I’ve got people telling me not to ever quit doing the stuff I do and the funniest thing is, all these timely words come whenever I’ve got so much on my plate that I don’t think I can be that committed again.
And you know what; I renewed my vows to my blog – my platform! To make it what it used to be and more! To walk away from jobs that would distract me from here ‘cause here is special.
Believe me, sometimes your plate might be full and nothing meaningful; nothing nourishing just a bunch of oils and starch (don’t get me wrong). Oil is good; starch is good! Sometimes that you have a full plate doesn’t mean you have a good meal. So you can just keep your beautiful plate busy with that one meal and keep working it out, staying hopeful and nourished.
Variety can be the spice of life but sometimes you don’t need spice if all it does is add smell! The question should be is it a good meal or just spicy?
In all, I’m just saying, it feels good to be back! And never forget, when your plans fail, keep your interest alive by reminding you why you do what you do; why you started a thing, how you kept the passion alive and why you should start it again.
I hope y’all have gotten used to my epistles by now and lest I forget, I want to say a very big thank you to Me and These Curls. I got a notification about being mentioned in a nomination. I visited the link and it happened that my blog was her favourite. She said really nice things about my blog and I didn’t think someone would feel that much about my platform. Thank you Queen!? you’re the reason walking away was no longer a thought!??
Y’all should go read that post here and follow her! She does amazing posts on natural hair, beauty and more?.
Do enjoy the rest of the week!!! and I’m looking forward to your comments. . . kisses??
ff on IG -@ibukunwrites_hub @ibukunwrites
ff on Twitter -@ibukunwrites
. ~ ©2018. Ibukunwrites

Pressures are real but what’s most real is a heart that’s willing to defy the odds and make it work. ~ Ibukunwrites. 2018

WHAT WE DON’T KNOW ABOUT SUICIDE



If anyone had told me I would share something related to suicide this week, I would say No. Last week Sunday, I read a story of an OAU Student who committed suicide by mixing battery liquid with rat poison because she got an E in  CHM 101. 
It was very sad to stomach and it made me remember some of my breaking moments in OAU – I had to do an unplanned digging and looking into that time of my life and all I could do is thank God.
I have been acutely depressed and have battled suicidal thoughts – there are days when ending it would feel like the needed thing to do and most times, there are moments when I don’t know how to feel anything else but gloominess; days I can’t account for what I feel and why I feel that way and on these days, I sometimes allow myself to feel these things and some other days, I take charge of my mind, my thoughts and choose life. 
Suffice it to say that so many people are going through that right now in a country like Nigeria where we don’t believe in mental health awareness and the presence and realness of depression. I’ve learnt a lot over the past years about depression and suicide and the following are things I’ve identified;

1. People who commit suicide really do not want to die. As complicated as this might seem, it is the truth. A lot of things causes depression and suicides are end results of lost battles of chronic depression. A person suffering from a chronic case of depression is bound to have the illusion that death is the solution to the issue that drove him/her to be depressed and not because he/she really wants to die. Most times, it’s a cry for help and when it feels like no one sees or listens, they are driven to the point where they take their own life. The essence of living is lost, the thirst for ambition is not there and sometimes it feels like living is not for them, life hates them and their presence is a burden to the world, friends and families. One thing I am sure of is, as much as it is easy to call people who have taken their own life cowards, I think it takes a great deal of tiredness to shut all of one’s mind and take one’s life in whatever forms of suicide – trust me, I’ve seen people go through health pain and die but imagining the anguish and suffering that happens when someone intentionally takes his/her own life by swallowing something or tying the rope; I can’t bring myself to imagine it.

2. Even the tiniest thing especially triggers can lead to depression and then suicide. I suffered depression at a point in time but I never knew it was called depression as at that time and it wasn’t that fore-grounded because it wasn’t acute or let me just say I pulled through by God’s help ‘cause depression wouldn’t really be one of my issues if i was to itemize but I went through it and not once have I been suicidal through those years (never really considered taking my own life) until recently when I had a trigger and yes, there were times when I felt like I should just end it. Boy, I was acutely depressed. I would feel like he/she is right, you’re better off dead! But the truth remains that I could never have had the guts to take my own life. It was all felt and never planned (what should I employ in ending it) nor attempted but the truth is, I’m just one of those few cases and the people who took their own lives never thought they could do that either. My point, there is bound to be a more catastrophic and pronounced depression that could be suicidal if there’s a trigger of what was survived. It could be loss (person, job, marriage, repeated mistake, cycles, etc.) or could be unhappiness, pressure from within and without.
3. Not every depression/suicidal thought was hidden. There is this thing people say about not knowing or there is nothing they could have done because the depressed person didn’t look it neither did he/she displayed signs of being depressed. Well, as much as it is true that so many people battling depression do quite a good job at masking it, it’s not true in all cases. In some cases, someone was able to pick it – someone was able to see beyond the act and sense a little bit of imbalance in the emotions and mental stability but they didn’t do anything about it because felt they could be wrong or the person might not want their privacy infringed on or better still they felt there’s nothing they could do to help and these assumptions have caused us so many lives we could have saved if only we decided to break through their walls or follow our guts/inclinations.
4. Anyone can help. Yes, anyone can help so far you’re not insensitive in words, action and attitude. There isn’t so much required in helping a depressed person through their struggle that anyone don’t have and can’t afford. We all have love and can afford it unless we don’t want to show it.


5. A larger percent of suicide were fuelled by people’s utterances. Believe it or not, so many people simply killed themselves because of what people have said to them. So many others gave up on their strength to pull through in the middle of the crises because of what someone has said to them and some people’s triggers were simply words. I shared on my Instagram page how I had shared my struggle with a friend and he asked me if I needed rope to do it or I have an unfixed fan so he could help me fix it only for him to call me a day after asking if I ended up killing myself. I know it was funny to him but the fact that I didn’t let that spur me to death doesn’t mean some people can handle such utterances. Let’s be careful of what we say to people. Let our words not be the reason someone decides life isn’t for him/her.

6. Just because they smile and keep it together doesn’t mean they are mentally healthy. If only we could see through people’s faces into their hearts and souls at times, we would realize there are lots of pains being suppressed in the bid to keep it together. The truth is, the term keeping it together has gone from what it used to be and it has become a term where people feign being okay while trying not to fall apart and the truth is, so many people are fallen on the inside so bad that the body is just not telling. We all have issues that we weather through life but not all issues create depression, mental imbalance, panic attacks and more. I say this often and although it’s not a reflection of everyone but people who are most happy are the most sad. 
7. Creating a bill that sanctions anyone caught trying to commit suicide in Nigeria won’t help. Believe me, this isn’t the way forward. I was watching a programme on TVC one night. I’ve forgotten the title of the programme but it was a woman and a man in a debate on suicide and depression and the part that caught me the most was when the man said anyone caught trying to kill himself should be penalized and a bill should be passed to that effect. Please, in a country where we are still trying to educate people on how real depression is in Nigeria, you think saving a man from dying and then charging him to court help reduce the challenge and create mental awareness? Yes, on no account should anyone take his/her life and yes, maybe the situation in the country increases some people’s depression and push to commit suicide and true, we all are not the same – sometimes we fight the same war but not everyone survives the war – we all don’t have the same strength and even if we do, we all are not aware of it. So please, passing such bill is a wrong call of judgement.

How do we help right?
The following are ways we can help a depressed or suicidal person rightly;
1. Don’t turn a deaf ear to people’s cry for help. Everything is not attention and even if it is, it really wouldn’t hurt, would it?
2. Stop trivializing people’s pain. Everything is not a joke ‘cause at the end of the day, your regret won’t send them back to planet earth.

3. Show love and care remind them of the happy moments, show them reasons why they’d want to stick around, make them realize that someone does care about them – that ending it is never the solution. Help them to stop paying attention to that which hurts. It’s never as bad as it seems. That what they are going through or have experienced is not stronger than them; it’s not powerful enough to drive them to early grave and that they are not only important but valuable to this planet. If you are sure they are depressed and are denying it, bring someone in that cares about them and help them to break down the walls and let them know it’s okay to feel the way they do ‘cause they are not alone.

4. Stop telling them about hell after death.
One of the things I learnt from so many stories of suicide I’ve read is that at that point, those people don’t care about anything but ending it. They care more about themselves than they care about anyone. We consider it selfish when we look at the parents, sisters and all but they see their exit as a way of relieving their loved ones of their burden. So when someone tells you about wanting to end it and you tell them do you know people who kill themselves are going to hell. Of course they know! But they don’t send you because they would always believe you don’t understand and allow them leave the world first and they’ll settle hell later on. You wanna help people? Stop telling them the scary truth; tell them the truth that brings life without them having to end it.

5. Stop comparing them with someone else. People do this a lot!
They’d say is it not the same thing that Lagbaja went through and he survived? In fact, she went through worse than yours, what have you now seen that you’re trying to kill yourself? You better receive sense. Sister, we get your point but your approach is very wrong. We all grieve differently. We react to things differently. We process and heal differently. So, there’s no wisdom in telling a depressed person to suck it up because she’s seen nothing compared to Lagbaja’s own.
6. Don’t give up on them even if they have on themselves. Sometimes, it’s difficult to hold on alone and your faith when they’ve lost theirs might just be the only thing that saves their life.
7. Help them to make efforts to heal. It’s okay to reach out on their behalf. Help them get materials that relates to what they are dealing with. Sometimes they may not know how to get help, it’s okay to let the onus fall on you.
8. Pray for them and go through their healing mantras with them. – as much as I’ve come to realize recently that it’s not all spiritual, and there’s a place for physical effort that is crucial, I believe in prayers, confessions and studying the word. I survived the early rough years of my life doing it the spiritual way but then again, I had it rough again and I learnt that yes, I catered for the spiritual but I need to understand that this is where the physical comes in, not to render my spiritual aspect useless but the truth is, we do have deposits from life experiences that we can’t pray away unless we address them. Nonetheless, pray for their souls to heal as they go through the physical healing while also involving God.
Finally, save a life from untimely death through suicide by showing love! Love doesn’t cost a thing.
Happy Tuesday?
~ ©Ibukunwrites. 2017.

MY 8 MONTHS NATURAL JOURNEY. . .

​I feel that the kinks, curls, or tight coils in Afro hair is beautiful and unique. No other race on this planet has hair like ours – that makes me proud. Monica Millner.

Hellooooooow Guys! Happy Monday! Let me say that this is not your usual Monday kinda post but your usual Ibukunwrites post ‘cos it’s gonna be long. . . so yaaayyy! I’m 8 months natural today! 2 days ago, I wanted to share a picture of myself on protective styling on my IG page and I was like no! why not make it a blogpost! ?Who says I have to wait till I’m a year natural to talk about my natural hair journey. . . 8 months is enough for me to figure out what works and don’t work for me. I just feel y’all or someone might be able to pick one or two things from this post
. . .
On 25th December, I decided to put a scissors into my hair! I think one of the hardest decisions I’ve had to make is going natural (hardest in the sense that I did go back and forth with whether to or not to for so long). . .I’ve always loved natural hair especially when I see certain people rock it online (Chimamanda, Sisi Yemmie, Tosin Alabi and someone I discovered along the line who I think probably has one of the longest and fullest hair I’m aware of so far is Chinwe Juliet of @igbocurls)

I don’t have much pictures of me on relaxed hair but the one above was the one I could find. Having successfully transitioned for 5 months (August – December) it wasn’t the easiest thing to do cos I wasn’t doing anything to the hair (no deep conditioning or using of transitioning kit) I just kept fixing and all ‘cause I wasn’t sure I would look lovely with the big chop (‘cause big chop to me sounded like ‘fa dan’ like gorimapa cut). I didn’t know what came over me that Christmas afternoon (maybe I was tired of transitioning and combing that hair); my mum looked at me like wawu! She was like so you want to go natural (my mum is natural) but you know an average Nigerian Mom encourages natural and some churches you know kinda attach one or two heresies to retouching of hair. . . So this what I looked like. . . 

I wasn’t afraid of my look on low cut because I’ve once done ‘net gel’ while in University and I know low cut suits me well but you know, I had a little doubt because net gel isn’t like low cut.
. . . 
After the cut, I practically didn’t know what to do! I think I’ve been reaching out to Debs about natural hair before then. . . so I got busy with the blogs and one of the misconceptions I had about natural hair that even made me hesitated at first was the fact that it’s expensive to maintain!!! But maybe that’s partially true but not totally true! And I wasn’t the usual natural Nigerian girl because an average Nigerian girl on natural hair always looked forward to growth both in volume and length especially but I wasn’t – in fact, it was like I didn’t want my hair to be longer ‘cause I was really loving the low cut! The refreshing feeling of having water permeate my scalp and just combing and applying coconut oil was so cool! So from December 25 till now, I’ve only had a protective styling twice! Crazy right! And I’ve leveled my hair twice – meaning, I’ve trimmed it (like a mini low-cut again – once I see it’s growing wings and I can’t press it down to smoothness, I’d try the scissors a little)

So I’m not the usual naturalista – ‘cause if I celebrate one year and my hair still look like the body size of Tyrion Lannister and you want to use that to judge, OYO iz that pelzn’s case!
. . .
Talking about the blogs, I finally found four that worked for me! First was Tosin Alabi’s blog Africanism Cosmopolitan second was Natural Girl On Budget while the third one was Eurekanaija and the last one was Chinwe’s Igbocurls but the three that encouraged me the most with expenses were naturalgirlonbudget, eurekanaija and Africanism cosmopolitan, but for growth and fullness, I use the last one a lot (Igbocurls) and it was easy for me to build a regimen for myself.

The first time I did protective styling was February while I was returning back to Kebbi for NYSC continuation, no one knew I had chopped my hair until March when I removed it and I went to CDS on low cut and everyone was like yeeeee! O ti gerun o 

and Doyin was like since when, I said before we left house na; so after March even for POP in April and through July, I was leveling my hair and rocking it until August when I decided I was a little bit ready to let the short hair go. . . so I did braids! 

Who send me. . . I had the braids on throughout the month and I discovered that my edges were really not friendly to braids and I know natural hair can be hard with the wigs and all (the lowest I know is 10k – iz nuh easy) so I cowashed alone and did didi in Abuja (N500 as in! kilode! but church is life or such is life). . . and then I wigged . . . you can’t believe I carried that didi from 31st August to 21st September (smh right! Debs lemme o!) so my friend (Janet – we work in the same school) decided she was gonna plait my hair, so I loosed the hair on Thursday evening, deep-conditioned and co-washed and by the time I was done, shrinkage came powerfully! I couldn’t get a picture of my hair before deep conditioning; so on Friday, I went to school rocking my TWA with my face made up and the hair looked so short! 

It was shining kei! The power of deep conditioning! Luckily, there was no school, there was an Islamiyyah holiday like that; so we decided to enter one of the classes and she did weaving for me and it was cool to have a change! And I loved it! No one could believe it was my short hair that made this long hair! And I decided I wasn’t going to wig anything! Na so I go carry am till I no longer want to . . .?



. . .
I never thought I was going to enjoy natural hair but I loooooooove the journey! I just love it! It taught me to own my hair; that my hair is my hair and like no one else! And I discovered my hair is this type that is full and rooted but it is soft all thanks to shea butter and when my hair starts growing, it is that kind of hair that will be fuller and with shrinkage!
So what do I do to my hair?
Number 1, I love natural products (like DIYs)
Number 2, I go easy with the products (helps me to cut the cloth according to my size – it’s not really the product that grows the hair)
Number 3, I do me! (I create my own routine; there are too much routines in natural hair and if care is not taken, you can get lost and you’ll start feeling your hair won’t grow because of that step that you missed. . . foul!)
. . .
This is what I do!
When I was on low cut;
I co-washed in the bathroom almost everyday – like I put a little conditioner on my hair (VO5 – that thing is now expensive compared to what bloggers were saying; I think I bought it 1,200 if not more than), then I’d wash with water and apply LOC when damp (L-eave in, O-il, C-ream) which is Soft and Beautiful Natural Olive, Argan and Coconut Oils Leave In Conditioner (1,200) and then I apply my mix of Olive, Coconut, Peppermint and Palm Kernel Oil (I’ve not tried JBCO – Jamaican Black Castor Oil ko I ti sowo) – sometimes I extract coconut oil sef cos coconut is plenty and cheaper in the North but it can be stressful no ni but when I left home in April, I came with two jars of coconut oil so I’m in the clear for a long time! And my cream is Shea Butter for sealant.
When I’m on Protective Styling like braids, I’ll just spray in my oil plus leave in and shea butter mix and I’m good to go.
To Deep Condition;
1. I detangle/prepoo with olive oil and after like twenty minutes,
2. Apply shampoo (ORS Replenishing Shampoo) and let it sit for a while before rinsing out.
3. I apply my deep conditioner which is a mix of one egg yolk/mayonnaise, a tablespoon of honey, two capsules of vitamin e oil, a dash of olive oil and a teaspoon of ACV (Apple Cider Vinegar). This mix is both moisturizing and protein-filled I do this once in a month cos I tend to carry protective styling for like a month. I leave it on for like 30 minutes covered with a black nylon and then my shower cap. It can be dripping but I try to put a cloth behind my neck.
4. I do an ACV Rinse 
5. Sometimes I skip this one. . . Then I use my VO5 conditioner; dry a little with a t-shirt, apply LOC and let it air dry and that’s all!
. . .
But the truth be told, I love what these does to my hair! I don’t have to break my purse to keep a healthy natural hair but there are products I would love to try like Cantu Leave In Conditioner and As I am products (both deep conditioner, moisturizer etc.) until then, I think I’m gonna be sticking to my DIYs and satin/silk scarf!
If you’re not natural, you should consider going natural soon!?
Kizzez. . .???
Have a fabulous week ahead?
©2017. Ibukunwrites.

While I was Away. . . 

It is very refreshing to go away and take a break, to clear your head, and just get into something else. Francois Nars.

Myself; PC: @debwritesblog

A Happy Sallah Break guys! And A Happy New Week to y’all. I know it must feel uber cool to be resting on a Monday morning. At least, if I can’t speak for everyone, I can speak for Debs of Debwritesblog  . . . Well, it was officially 3 months yesterday that I took an indefinite break from blogging but I feel so glad doing my second blogpost post-break. 
There were many reasons why I left and I think in subsequent posts, I’ll be talking about them but like I said, walking away for a while was a breath of fresh air, I got my clarity and I feel great working towards awesome.
So While I was Away. . .
1. I made some resolutions;
(a) I won’t be blogging the ‘outstanding’ series Memoirs of A Repentant Hooker on this blog again. Why? Well, if I were a reader, I would be bored already. If something drags for so long, you get tired. Therefore, the only reason I’m gonna bring back this series as a blogpost for continuation if you guys asked me to and a part of me don’t think you might. In lieu of that, I have decided to release the series as an EBook for free downloads on okadabooks.com. In other words, come first week of October, you guys can have a non-disjointed and not-dragging Memoirs of A Repentant Hooker on your tabloids and until that is achieved, I won’t be bringing any series to the blog.
(b) I won’t be doing too much content writing/freelancing. Why? I think one of the disadvantages of freelancing uncensored or unmanaged is that you can be a little distracted and may unconsciously abandon your brand and may lose yourself along the way. When you are too involved, you become less involved in your own. So I have decided to take the ones I know I can conveniently work with that won’t require me struggling for a blog time, self time, rest time etc. In fact, I do write for free – I’m someone who obviously may not care about the money if the course is passionate to my heart; so this decision isn’t borne out of chasing cash, it’s trying to decongest and exhale. . . Still, I’m always up for content writing and always a Freelancer; so if you have a job for me, I’m always your best bet, so don’t hesitate . . . and I can’t be coerced into a Yes! I know how to say No pretty well now.
2. I lost certain opportunity(s)/platform(s)
(a) Yea that’s right! But the truth remains that I am very grateful for the amazing opportunities to be on those platforms while it lasted. One that stood out for me the most was moskedapages and believe me, there is a limit to being considerate and understanding especially when it comes to protecting the integrity of one’s brand and not making readers feel like they are insignificant. Did it hurt? Yes, more than a little but I’m glad that the seeming misunderstanding was cleared and people loved the series while it aired on her page. . . and I think because of the way I was dragging the series and other writers doing the same, she had to decide not to feature uncompleted series! I’m very sorry Sally and I’m exceedingly grateful for the opportunity. The truth is that sometimes, it’s only you that understands you! And things happen that everything can become uninteresting to you.
3. I realized readers can be a little insensitive.
(a) Don’t get me wrong, readers love can be overwhelming but some people can be a little inconsiderate sometimes. I remember when I was AWOL, I appreciate that people kept refreshing this blog and kept checking on me but the truth is, there was a particular message I got about hoping I get to settle whatever. . . can’t really remember! Writers are humans. Everyone has their issues, but not everyone has the same issue! There is no love without sensitivity. That people come out to give you hope and fun through their writings doesn’t mean they are not dealing with dark things in their mind. Words are powerful – I think I learnt that during my away moment and I think one thing I never failed to do during my inconsistencies is come here to explain myself. I can’t begin to pour my issues into a blogpost and then it’s people that’ll still tell me, everyone is going through something, deal with it. . . stop karamoing. . . for every reaction, there is an action. Let’s not always make light of people’s going throughs and assume every disappearance is ‘unnecessary inconsistency/procrastination/un-seriousness’. . . People are fighting silent battles. . . 
4. I travelled 
Debs of Debwritesblog and Myself?

(a) Yes! I went to Abuja and I had the great honour of meeting the number one woman who is mesmerized by me Debs of Debwritesblog?????. To say she was such a great host is an understatement. Meeting her was such a moment I’d treasure for life and I looooooooove her! Sometimes I feel like she makes me feel too big. . . anyways, I’m proud of her, I’m honoured to be associated with her brand and I’m also happy August brought us face to face after a year and little month(s) of being unseen. . . I have her and Yetunde to thank for making my stay a delight. Girl, this is me saying thank you! Iz such a pity there’s no bigger words than thank you and I loooooooove you! When and where many say there’s a casting down, you’ll speak of a lifting up! 
Sisters’ hug; L – R : Yetunde, Funmi and Myself?

(b) I had a reunion, met another amazing blogger and made a new friend.  – Yas! I reunited with my sisters after two years – Funmi and Yetunde and I also met Tolu of @lotsoflove_bytolu and made a new friend, Seyifunmi (all thanks to Debs). Trust me, I couldn’t have spent August anywhere and doing anything better.
Myself and Tolu of @lotsoflove_bytolu

5. I saw a lot of movies
(a) Well, before Abuja I did see a lot of non-Nigerian movies and while at Abuja, I had the cinema experience twice (no! It wasn’t a Nigerian movie, wasn’t that lucky lol) and I watched a lot of ROK when Debs went to work . . . so y’all should better get ready for some overdose of reviews
6. I bought and read a lot of books
(a) Yea! Hardcopy, EBooks. . . Spiritual, Creative. . . In fact, I got an autographed copy of Jolaade Philips’ Eden (I bought literally), bought and read Deborah Akingboye’s Fading Away and more. . . so you guys should expect massive book reviews too. . .
7. I did some audio poems and prose
(a) That’s true! Don’t tell me you haven’t listened to them . . . it’s called, Fuck Boy, Church Boy and The Gender in VirginityListen, leave a comment and follow my channel and I’ll be doing more . . . and I also plan to make a video recording of THE GENDER IN VIRGINITY.
8. I made peace with my purpose call
(a) If you noticed, a lot of changes have occurred. I’ve come to a place where I know I can’t run away from doing and fulfilling purpose. It’d take me out of my comfort zone but I’m ready to be unashamed for Christ’s sake, so you’d be reading a lot of personal expositions and Christian reflections on this blog. I hope you don’t just read them for fun or carelessly, I hope it inspires you, encourage you, take you to a place where you start your healing journey, cause you to renew your love for God and trust God doggedly again. . . we’re beautifully broken and highly loved by God.
9. I started writing my first hardcopy-published book.
(a) Sometimes this year, I started writing a book. This isn’t just any book. This is me pouring all of me and practically not holding anything back. I called it owning my truth in poetry. This is one book that’s gonna give you a peak into who I am, who I was, what shaped me into who I am, my battles, survival, trauma, mistakes, healing and redemption. I hope when it’s published, you’ll buy for yourself, friends and family no matter how much it costs.
10. I’ll be sharing a lot of personal stuff here 
(a) Some months ago, I shared a particular post on my IG page where I asked people why they follow me and I remember Yasmin’s comment about personal diaries. . . So yea, personal diaries are back!!! I’ll be introducing new segments to this blog and I’d be starting a travel diary where I share my experiences and the one I’ll be doing this month is called MY PUBLIC TRANSPORT DIARY. . . Are you guys ready!!!! Plus will I be sharing my Abuja experience? Hell yea!
11. I found the strength to live again.
Above all, I learnt to live, laugh and love!
Let me also say that one of the posts that kept bringing people to the blog consistently while I was not here was this post!!! As in people were even kind enough to leave me comments! Thanks y’all. I’ll sure try to do more music posts! Thanks so much. . .and yea, I discovered new songs!
Anyways, Just you know, I’m back with a bang. . . refreshed, renewed and reenergized. Therefore, if you’re my friend and you’re following me on social media especially all ye facebook people and you’re haven’t liked my Facebook Page or followed my IG blog page or subscribed to my Soundcloud Channel, iz like you’ve gba penalty lo throwing o!  what kind of friend are you???????? ?????
The links to do that are below. . . just scroll up and do the needful!. . . subscribe to the blog, like the Facebook page and follow other social media pages. . . and be on lookout for giveaways!!!
 I love you guys and yea, my controversial posts will be back! Maybe not tomorrow, but I think next tomorrow! Kizzezzzzzz. . .
Enjoy the holiday???
~ ©Ibukunwrites.
4/9/2017.

Sometimes, all you need is a little break. Ibukunwrites.

Hi, I'm Due!


It’s the 2nd day of June and it’s been 31 days since I posted here and I want to say a very happy new month to you all. It’s not by power that we made it into the sixth month of the year which is a pointer that we have lived half of the year 2017. I pray that this new month shall be all that we wish and more and may God preserve our life to witness the remaining half, live it and many other years. So, some of you are probably wondering what’s up with the heading. . . Well, I’m sure this post is going to be the longest post I’ve ever written in the history of blogposts.
First of all, I want to say a very big thank you to everyone who had shown commitment to my blog and my writings ever since I started my own blog in 2015. I could categorically say that 2015 was the same year I became pregnant with purpose. I could remember replying Debs of Debwritesblog on one of my posts on IG that I was going to properly reply her comment about posts on finding purpose etc. Well, let me officially say that I didn’t see this decision/step happening this soon or this month but I knew it was gonna happen at one time or the other. Also, making this decision has been one of the most challenging things I’ve ever had to do in my life not because I would have to let go of this platform for a while but because of everything that was gonna happen after making this decision. I had to struggle with a lot of things that surrounded what ifs and probabilities but at the end, I realized it was no longer up to me – it wasn’t about what is lawful and convenient unto me but what is needful.

If anyone had asked me 14 years ago what I wanted to be in the future, all I would have said nonstop was that I wanted to become a Broadcaster. I love Broadcasting back then; I still do. Those days, I used to watch Seun Olagunju a lot on AIT. She made me fall in love with Broadcasting that nothing mattered. I also remembered that I started writing short stories since I was in Primary Four. It was just something that naturally comes to me and then while my academic life continued to grow, I found myself in the Sciences. I could remember my Physics teacher had reported me like twice to my Mum especially about how he had caught me reading novels in his classes and along the line, I experienced a shift in my life that changed everything – nowhere in my life has it occurred to me that I would be a Writer and every other thing added.


The places I have been and the experiences I have had over the span of 9 years I never saw nor predicted not even in my subconscious while I was having my dreams at the age I had them. Noteworthy is the fact that I could confidently say that from year 2011 to this moment, I have moved from one place of pain to another; one hurt to another, tears, mistakes, messes, anger, unforgiveness, depression; I’ve failed, I’ve witnessed delay, I’ve lost someone, I’ve forcefully bid certain friendships bye, I’ve doubted intentions, I’ve trusted none, I’ve been taking advantage of, I’ve been messed up over and over even while in messes, I’ve opened up and closed up – I’ve regretted, I’ve condemned myself, healing wounds had gotten infections; sometimes the scars from healed wounds scratches so bad that it bleeds back again, I’ve been tested and I’ve failed. I’ve helped and I’ve gotten none in return. I’ve been offended and I’ve been made to look like the offender, I’ve had to be comfortable with apologies I never got – I’ve played Doctor and Healer over my own life and at the end of the day, I’ve learnt to love myself, let certain things go, believe in God and His plans; like it wasn’t such a palatable processing but they were years of growth! . . . Basically, I felt everything that there could be in life to be felt and that’s not an exaggeration.

Over the past three months approximately, I had been through some ugliness that only two people knew about. I had totally gone from that person who had it altogether to almost falling apart again and in that incident, I was revealed unto so much about me – I was undeniably strong but there was something about me which had never occurred to me in that perspective but God pulled me back together and in 2015, I had felt in my spirit that God was preparing me to do something and when it dawned on me what it was after I had released Creeping Voices in November that same year, I struggled to do it. I knew it wasn’t time for me to do it, a part of me felt like I wasn’t ready but at the same time, I knew I was still gonna choke and get baked even when it’s time. And one of the things I struggled with the most was reception and giving up my art for Ministry. 
While I was struggling with that knowing, I went on a long break that had coincidentally collided with my service year. I wasn’t having a writer’s block but I was having difficulty putting my writings into words. When that phase passed, I realized God is the Author of Creativity – he created heaven and earth in 6 days and the Bible said, everything He created was good not because the Bible attested to it that it was good but because the Bible said ‘and God saw that it was good!’. . . If God needed me to quit being a Creative Writer, He would tell me and yes, you can do career and do purpose!
Not so long after, I resumed writing. I took opportunities that were for me to take and along the line, I opened an instagram page @thebecomingwoman which I totally distanced myself from because I didn’t want anyone to know it was me. I wanted to do the Lord’s work but I wasn’t ready to own the story because I was scared of reception. I didn’t want to be judged, I didn’t think I could do it. Not so long after I realized that my Facebook friends were following that page, I choked. I was so scared that some people had known I was the one. So, I DMd Funmi and I was like ‘I’m scared’ and she was like ‘Enjoy it babe!’ and I didn’t get it still you know and during those times, I was chatting with a young woman of God who I couldn’t come clean with about my identity and in mind I was wishing I could so bad but I just couldn’t and I felt like how would she feel when she discovers that ‘Ibukunwrites’ is also ‘The Becoming Woman’?

At the end of the day, this is me, Ebukun Gbemisola Ogunyemi! The road to being Ibukunwrites was not planned. It isn’t a road I’ve walked before but the road had been walked by many before me. I have settled for safe for too long that sleeping, waking and knowing that I’m not purposeful gives me palpitations. So when I’m asked that what do I mean by finding purpose/doing purpose, I simply say, finding/doing purpose is not wasting the processes God had taken and seen you through by settling for safe; settling for safe to me particularly means – choosing to hold on to the mess ‘stylishly’ even though God had seen you through it by keeping the message to yourself.
What’s the essence of this epistle you might say?
1. I won’t be here until further notice. I don’t know how long – 6 months? 1 year? I can’t say but what I know is, I’d be back but definitely not the same way I left.
2. I’m working on book(s) release. Presently, I’m working on one which is like a prelude to the book that tells all of my truth without holding anything back. Also, I don’t know when these books will be out but I know it will be out in its own time. I’m not taking a break from here because I want to work on my books but because that’s what God would have me do. It should have happened a long time ago but now it is happening.
3. To all ardent followers of my series, you can catch up with new episodes on moskedapages as from next week Friday.
4. Also, you guys should watch out for my articles on Oyamag as from Monday and also on platforms like African Freelancers and The Odyssey.
There won’t be new articles on this platform anytime soon but I promise to get in touch as soon as I’m back and yea, I will be as active as I can afford to be on my social media pages.
Once again, thank you all for journeying with me this far and I hope you find a blessing in my comeback❤.
You can follow me on @ibukunwrites on twitter and @IG. And also you can follow 
@thebecomingwoman too on IG – even though I could foresee a change of name and handle in my spirit!
Have a blissful June. . .❤ and yea, you can leave your comments, I’ll respond to them and to all my Blogging friends, don’t stop blogging, I’m sure I’d follow up more than ever and leave comments very often.
Kisses and love??

I know all about how your life could go not as planned; how it feels to come to terms with the fact that you might have lost control over your own life and at the end of the day, you go back to that one place you gave the middle finger – GOD. ~ Ibukunwrites.

Hi, I'm Due!


It’s the 2nd day of June and it’s been 31 days since I posted here and I want to say a very happy new month to you all. It’s not by power that we made it into the sixth month of the year which is a pointer that we have lived half of the year 2017. I pray that this new month shall be all that we wish and more and may God preserve our life to witness the remaining half, live it and many other years. So, some of you are probably wondering what’s up with the heading. . . Well, I’m sure this post is going to be the longest post I’ve ever written in the history of blogposts.
First of all, I want to say a very big thank you to everyone who had shown commitment to my blog and my writings ever since I started my own blog in 2015. I could categorically say that 2015 was the same year I became pregnant with purpose. I could remember replying Debs of Debwritesblog on one of my posts on IG that I was going to properly reply her comment about posts on finding purpose etc. Well, let me officially say that I didn’t see this decision/step happening this soon or this month but I knew it was gonna happen at one time or the other. Also, making this decision has been one of the most challenging things I’ve ever had to do in my life not because I would have to let go of this platform for a while but because of everything that was gonna happen after making this decision. I had to struggle with a lot of things that surrounded what ifs and probabilities but at the end, I realized it was no longer up to me – it wasn’t about what is lawful and convenient unto me but what is needful.

If anyone had asked me 14 years ago what I wanted to be in the future, all I would have said nonstop was that I wanted to become a Broadcaster. I love Broadcasting back then; I still do. Those days, I used to watch Seun Olagunju a lot on AIT. She made me fall in love with Broadcasting that nothing mattered. I also remembered that I started writing short stories since I was in Primary Four. It was just something that naturally comes to me and then while my academic life continued to grow, I found myself in the Sciences. I could remember my Physics teacher had reported me like twice to my Mum especially about how he had caught me reading novels in his classes and along the line, I experienced a shift in my life that changed everything – nowhere in my life has it occurred to me that I would be a Writer and every other thing added.


The places I have been and the experiences I have had over the span of 9 years I never saw nor predicted not even in my subconscious while I was having my dreams at the age I had them. Noteworthy is the fact that I could confidently say that from year 2011 to this moment, I have moved from one place of pain to another; one hurt to another, tears, mistakes, messes, anger, unforgiveness, depression; I’ve failed, I’ve witnessed delay, I’ve lost someone, I’ve forcefully bid certain friendships bye, I’ve doubted intentions, I’ve trusted none, I’ve been taking advantage of, I’ve been messed up over and over even while in messes, I’ve opened up and closed up – I’ve regretted, I’ve condemned myself, healing wounds had gotten infections; sometimes the scars from healed wounds scratches so bad that it bleeds back again, I’ve been tested and I’ve failed. I’ve helped and I’ve gotten none in return. I’ve been offended and I’ve been made to look like the offender, I’ve had to be comfortable with apologies I never got – I’ve played Doctor and Healer over my own life and at the end of the day, I’ve learnt to love myself, let certain things go, believe in God and His plans; like it wasn’t such a palatable processing but they were years of growth! . . . Basically, I felt everything that there could be in life to be felt and that’s not an exaggeration.

Over the past three months approximately, I had been through some ugliness that only two people knew about. I had totally gone from that person who had it altogether to almost falling apart again and in that incident, I was revealed unto so much about me – I was undeniably strong but there was something about me which had never occurred to me in that perspective but God pulled me back together and in 2015, I had felt in my spirit that God was preparing me to do something and when it dawned on me what it was after I had released Creeping Voices in November that same year, I struggled to do it. I knew it wasn’t time for me to do it, a part of me felt like I wasn’t ready but at the same time, I knew I was still gonna choke and get baked even when it’s time. And one of the things I struggled with the most was reception and giving up my art for Ministry. 
While I was struggling with that knowing, I went on a long break that had coincidentally collided with my service year. I wasn’t having a writer’s block but I was having difficulty putting my writings into words. When that phase passed, I realized God is the Author of Creativity – he created heaven and earth in 6 days and the Bible said, everything He created was good not because the Bible attested to it that it was good but because the Bible said ‘and God saw that it was good!’. . . If God needed me to quit being a Creative Writer, He would tell me and yes, you can do career and do purpose!
Not so long after, I resumed writing. I took opportunities that were for me to take and along the line, I opened an instagram page @thebecomingwoman which I totally distanced myself from because I didn’t want anyone to know it was me. I wanted to do the Lord’s work but I wasn’t ready to own the story because I was scared of reception. I didn’t want to be judged, I didn’t think I could do it. Not so long after I realized that my Facebook friends were following that page, I choked. I was so scared that some people had known I was the one. So, I DMd Funmi and I was like ‘I’m scared’ and she was like ‘Enjoy it babe!’ and I didn’t get it still you know and during those times, I was chatting with a young woman of God who I couldn’t come clean with about my identity and in mind I was wishing I could so bad but I just couldn’t and I felt like how would she feel when she discovers that ‘Ibukunwrites’ is also ‘The Becoming Woman’?

At the end of the day, this is me, Ebukun Gbemisola Ogunyemi! The road to being Ibukunwrites was not planned. It isn’t a road I’ve walked before but the road had been walked by many before me. I have settled for safe for too long that sleeping, waking and knowing that I’m not purposeful gives me palpitations. So when I’m asked that what do I mean by finding purpose/doing purpose, I simply say, finding/doing purpose is not wasting the processes God had taken and seen you through by settling for safe; settling for safe to me particularly means – choosing to hold on to the mess ‘stylishly’ even though God had seen you through it by keeping the message to yourself.
What’s the essence of this epistle you might say?
1. I won’t be here until further notice. I don’t know how long – 6 months? 1 year? I can’t say but what I know is, I’d be back but definitely not the same way I left.
2. I’m working on book(s) release. Presently, I’m working on one which is like a prelude to the book that tells all of my truth without holding anything back. Also, I don’t know when these books will be out but I know it will be out in its own time. I’m not taking a break from here because I want to work on my books but because that’s what God would have me do. It should have happened a long time ago but now it is happening.
3. To all ardent followers of my series, you can catch up with new episodes on moskedapages as from next week Friday.
4. Also, you guys should watch out for my articles on Oyamag as from Monday and also on platforms like African Freelancers and The Odyssey.
There won’t be new articles on this platform anytime soon but I promise to get in touch as soon as I’m back and yea, I will be as active as I can afford to be on my social media pages.
Once again, thank you all for journeying with me this far and I hope you find a blessing in my comeback❤.
You can follow me on @ibukunwrites on twitter and @IG. And also you can follow 
@thebecomingwoman too on IG – even though I could foresee a change of name and handle in my spirit!
Have a blissful June. . .❤ and yea, you can leave your comments, I’ll respond to them and to all my Blogging friends, don’t stop blogging, I’m sure I’d follow up more than ever and leave comments very often.
Kisses and love??

I know all about how your life could go not as planned; how it feels to come to terms with the fact that you might have lost control over your own life and at the end of the day, you go back to that one place you gave the middle finger – GOD. ~ Ibukunwrites.